I’m writing this to tell you something I should have told you about a long time ago. I’ve been cheating on you. I’ve been cheating on you with a Sketch Class offered by the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater. Wait! Before you turn your back on me, let me explain.
It started a few months ago. You are I were doing good together, but face it, we had become routine. I write you Tuesdays and Fridays, and you…well, you’re a blog so you don’t do much of anything. I’ll admit that my typing fingers longed for another challenge even as we discussed isotopes and iron fertilization and earthquakes and I just wanted something more. Then along came Sketch Writing Class. Sexy, time-consuming, Sketch Class. I thought to myself, “I’ve never been with a Sketch Class before. I wonder if it’s like how everyone says it’s like”. I couldn’t resist the allure of something so different, so non-scientific. I enrolled. I enrolled, but I immediately regretted my decision! My humor doesn’t translate well to a 3 page sketch. I don’t care about “the game” or “buttons”. I don’t want to sit around a table and spend 3 hours listening to other people’s sketches, especially when there’s nobody cute to look at. But the saddest part is that all my sketches were about science and nerds and field trips. I couldn’t escape you. The whole time I was with Sketch Class, I was thinking about you.
I’m so sorry, Get Your Science On!!! How could I ever betray you? I don’t want to be with Sketch Class anymore, I want to be with you. Let’s go back to the way things were, huh? Just forget about all this nonsense and go somewhere nice. Take a vacation together. Please, just take me back and I promise things will be how they were before I met Sketch Class.
I miss you.